Your Favorite Crackheads

While the crack epidemic is no laughing matter in real life, these actors have given us comedy gold with their spot on portrayals of crackheads.

  1. Eddie Kane Jr. (The Five Heartbeats)

How can any of us forget? “Nights like this I wish, that raindrops would faaaaalllllllll….”

2. Ezal and Felisha (Friday)

The antics in this film were over the top and forever etched in our memories. Felisha actually had the crackhead audacity to say, “I need to borrow your car right quick.” She is the reason why so many people to this day use the phrase, “Bye Felisha”.

Then there’s Ezal… “Aw, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. God. Oh, I’m hurt. Oh, my neck, my back, my neck and my back. Oh, I want $150,000, but we can settle out of court right now for twenty bucks.”

3. Gator and Vivian (Jungle Fever)

Samuel Jackson was actually fresh off of a drug habit when he played the hell out of his role as Gator. He had some memorable quotes, but when he said “Mama, I smoked the color TV!”, I damn near died laughing. But my favorite Gator quote was this one… “Would you rather I go out and rob some elderly person, I’ll do it, I’ll do it, you know I’ll do it, cause I like getting high, I’m a Cr Cr crack head.”

Halle Berry played Vivian and didn’t have much of a speaking role since this was one of her first films. Her stand out quote was, “I’ll suck your dick for $5.” 

4. Laces (Power)

“I can take his wallet too, right?” Insert a mini funky chicken dance. Kendrick Lamar surprised us all with a very respectable acting job as he portrayed Laces, a homeless drug addict on the hit show Power. His entire back and forth dialogue with Kanan, played by rapper 50 Cent was absolutely hilarious.

5. Tyrone Biggums (Chappelle’s Show)

Dave Chappelle is one of the funniest comedians on the planet, so he definitely can bring life into the role of a crackhead. Here are some Tyrone Biggums quotes:

“Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.”

(bursts inside room) “Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?”

“Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What the hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off and sniff it and get high.”

6. Pookie (New Jack City)

Chris Rock put the rock in crack rock with his role as Pookie in New Jack City. His facial expressions and mannerisms made his character stand out. He had some pretty funny quotes as well:

(Pookie looks into the hidden camera) “Scottie, help me – I’m gonna die!”

“I tried to kick… but that shit just be callin’ me man, it be callin’ me, man… I just got to go to it!”

“They got that shit hooked up like Mission Impossible, man!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s